The McClaren (Months) Days

I was presented with an opportunity of a career change so I've joined the gig economy with a well know supplier of security guards and cleaners and I managed to get my dream gig: cleaning the bogs at the Harlington training grounds.  Hanging around pretending to work while watching the players go through their every day drills, getting to lurk at the back of the briefing sessions while emptying the bins or checking out the expensive cars while sweeping up the parking lot.

I was there for April Fool's day when Schteve wandered off a bit earlier than usual with a small box of goodies which had I'd noticed was unopened in the corner of his office and covered in dust.  When I went to clean the bogs I noticed that one of the ceiling tiles was a bit loose and after delicately balancing myself on top of the bog seat, I found a notebook hidden away.

Turns out I've discovered Schteve's magic diary and now that I'm not getting paid for a few more weeks I've decided to hawk out some select extracts to the highest bidder.  Congratulations to AKUTRs for the winning, and only, bid of precisely £0.00.

5 May 2018 - Might have a new gig next season in the Championship.  That lovely Tony chap from London called to see if I'd be interested in a job at QPR but used a big word about Ollie and needing to remove a fence.  Only too happy to help.

21 May.   Today's the Presser Game: How many questions can you answer using the same words?
Buzz phrases for today are: Good squad, young players, looking forward to coaching them.  Just been here a couple of days.  Targets set after pre-season.  We'll buy players that fit the style.  Want to win, style is important.  Love the club, followed them since my last time here.  Great setup.

Post Presser Analysis: Went well, avoided using "Strong and Stable".  Hoping this has set expectations for mid-table this year.

4 Aug: Tough opener, PNE away.  Proud of the players, good shape, stuck to the formation and passed well.  Didn't score but good transitions and quality.  Right way to lose.

11 Aug: Home to the team most likely to win the Championship.  Proud of the lads,

16 Aug: Good presser with Les.  We had a chat before and he agreed we're buying or not buying expensively, or we're in the loan market.  Depends on the right opportunity.  Not sure about playing the young lads.

17 Aug: Beat Peterborough and we're off.  I've a feeling in my waters we'll get off the mark at WBA.

19 Aug: Orcs have colonised Isengard and torn us apart; lucky to get back to the bus without more injured egos.

22 Aug: Les called, sounded pretty pissed off.  Dodged the P45 but Team 1 is lying on its roof in Cheddar Gorge. Might pop round to see Arfur for a new motor.

2 Sep: Return to Brum.  Solid formation, none did pass but we didn't pass either.  Still, 0-0 means we're on the away board.

26 Sep: Blackpool away in the cup.  Looked like we were playing in bare feet on broken glass.  Thought that Gossies glorious left peg would help us through.

8 Oct: Derby draw, played well unlucky not to win.   Fat Frank looks like he's getting the same for breakfast as his whole squad.  Maybe he's competing with Brucie for Fat Manager of the Year.  Reminds me I need to book an appointment with the dietician.

1 Nov: Manager of the month.  That's me.  Shows I'm the best in the division.  Onto the sunlit uplands of promotion and Prem glory.

28 Nov: Away draw to Rotherham.  Road form is good, passing and playing well.  Couple of sloppy goals but we can fix that.

24 Dec: Forest away and 10,000 fans witness me become the first QPR manager to win at the City Ground.  Celebrated all night.  We're going up.

6 Feb: First manager to get QPR to the FA Cup 5th round in 30 years.  Told Les losses in the league don't matter when this happens.

14 Mar: Met with Les to discuss year end thoughts after Rotherham debacle.  Told him anything above 18th is an improvement, what with no new players and best young lads out on loan.  Will keep plugging away.  Asked him to stop calling me Schteve.  He will think about it.

1 Apr: Holed up in Trap 2 to get some perspective.  We're playing well, formation and passing the way I want, just losing too well.  Leeds win was the level we want, just can't find the magic spray to make it happen.
Bollocks, Les is calling for me, wonder what he wants...