This UK government, to use the term loosely, continues to astonish me. We're wasting food we're told and it's all our fault that there's none left for the poorer nations. Yet good old Gordon's off to Japan getting stuck into a 48 dish dinner that I'm pretty sure that about 42% of the prepared contents ended up in the bin.
I'm beginning to really dislike the way this horrible man appears to push us to become Scottish Protestants. Be prudent, be responsible, work hard, record your achievements, and educate your children. If it were the 1800's I'd expect to see him waving the, allegedly, holy book in his hand to boot. Repent of your sins and repair your immoral ways, you evil children of Eve, he might admonish. Mankind (deliberate emphasis on the sex) you are wicked and you shall taste the fires of hell should you continue to ignore the commands of the lord you bow down to.
I often wonder if Gordon would be happiest with us kowtowing before him, acknowledging just how great and powerful he is. After all he has single handedly delivered the UK such an enormous list of improvements that we must all consider ourselves so lucky that this man was delivered unto us. Nick Clegg, honorable leader of the Liberal Democrats, understands the problem. When Gordon's on the back foot about an issue or doesn't like the question presented to him, he reads out a list of, primarily, his achievement, though this is normally preceded by "Under this Labour government, we have delivered...". As Mr Clegg spoke out to the Speaker in one PM's question time "He's doing it again, he's confusing reading out a list with answering the question."
Dear Mr Speaker, can you please ask our honorable PM to answer the question next time? Unfortunately it's very difficult to heckle from the galleries, now that they've installed the perspex partition to keep our MP's safe from terrorists.
Back at the food ranch, it's becoming clear that one of the simpler ways to ease the burden on food production is to eat less of it. Perhaps our know-it-all Government can order us to weigh in once a month, figure out each persons BMI and determine just how fat we all are. Then they can set another of their famous "targets" for us to lose 20% of the national body-weight just by not eating. There could be ration coupons that limit you to a certain number of calories per day and ensure that you eat the correct portions of each part of the food circle. There would need to be consideration for pregnant or nursing women, children and the elderly. This of course would mean a public consultation on the matter, the formation of a Quango to ensure that the right level of dietary intake is set for various categories of people, active professional sports players would be in their own category, excluding darts and snooker players, and then of course the Parliamentary debating of the matter before final ratification.
Along the way, Gordon could do another of those Labour wheezes where he announces several rounds of funding, each time implying that this is new funding bestowed upon the people. All of this, of course, will include the pet "prudence" phrase and say how terribly important (hands out in front like he's hugging another fat person) it is that this vital work succeeds and helps make Britain the best place to live. Wrapped up in a sinecure of "proper British diets for proper British people".
No comments:
Post a Comment